Bob Ross And Chewbacca Fan Fiction From The Haircut Ratings

Every weekday at 9:15ish we try to serve up the hairiest of Hair Metal with the “The Pike Haircut”. Over the past couple of years listeners have begun rating the Haircut for “Hairiness” making sure it’s worthy of the title. Since then we have come up with a ratings system for what we call “The Whole Hairy Package”:

You can rate from 1-10: that includes attaching names to the numbers. A low rating would be something void of hair like Joe Rogan, Lex Luther or a bowling ball. A high rating would be anything that is overly hairy like Cousin It from The Adams Family, Jason Momoa, Paul Stanley’s or Kip Winger’s chest, My back, or Robin Williams arms.

The “Sleezewiz” Factor is very important. Is it sleezy enough to catch an STD? Is it cheesy enough like a Velveeta Fountain at The Golden Coral.

Wardrobe is also a factor. Does the band get it’s outfits from the Kohl’s Women’s Activewear Department or The Halloween Outlet.

Spelling also counts. If the title has “Hair Metal Spelling” like Ratt, Kix or Enough Z-nuff they get extra points.

Somewhere along the way raters have slowly developed a form of fan fiction describing Chewbacca and the late great painter Bob Ross(with his glorious afro) in romantic situations. That means the song is so hairy it involves two positive rating figures being intimate. Is this starting to sound like Dungeons And Dragons yet? Feel free to participate by listening in and texting your ratings to 508-799-PIKE(7453)

I compiled most of the Bob Ross/Chewbacca fan fiction from the past year in this blog. A listener also suggested this: “much like the power couple “Bennifer”(Benn Affleck and Jennifer Lopez) it seems your fan fiction explores the couple we shall now call “ChewBobka” I think we should go with it.

So here is the evolution of “ChewBobka” from our listeners:

Solid 6.9, so hairy that Chewbacca and Bob Ross birthed my lunch ladies hairy mustache

Chewbacca and Bob Ross throwing ones at the stage at Hurricane Betty’s, 10+++

Chewbacca and bob ross had a break up And got back together and had love child

Chewbacca and Bob Ross dressed in leather and carrying whips, 10+++

Chewbacca and Bob Ross are singing sleazy songs with the London Choirboys, 10+++

Bob Ross Chewbacca and cousin it playing in a ball pit of sleeze whiz 10+++

Chewbacca and Bob Ross wearing pirate shirts dripping with sleaze whiz, 10+++

9.9. So hairy that I grew hair where I didn’t think I could!! I look like the love child of Bob Ross and Chewbacca

Bob Ross and Chewbacca watching a Shanon tweed movie 10

Bob Ross and Chewbacca riding motorcycles in their leather jackets on streets covered with cheesy, sleaze whiz, 10+++

Chewbacca and Bob Ross swimming in a pool of queso in their clothes from the Halloween Outlet, 10+++

Bob Ross and Chewbacca riding in a slick black Cadillac down a sleazy cheesy highway, 10

Chewbacca and Bob Ross wearing matching scary clown costumes at a cheesy Halloween party, 10

S-C-O-R-P-I-O-N-S!!!! Chewbacca and Bob Ross trick or treat bags are full of queso, 10+++

I’m gonna go with Bob Ross, Chewbacca, David Lee Roth, and a pack of sloths throw in a blender poured over Velveeta with cheese whiz. On top of Burt Reynolds and David Hasselhoff.

Chewbacca and Bob Ross are driving a vintage convertible through a sleazy, cheesy car wash, 15+++

Chewbacca, Bob Ross, and Kip Winger’s chest hair enjoying a giant bowl of queso, 10+++

Chewbacca, Bob Ross, Kip Winger, Paul Stanley, and David Lee Roth gathered for a cheesy Thanksgiving feast, 10

Solid 9. It’s so hairy that Santa Chewbacca and Bob Ross made sweet sweet love on a bed full of cheesy goodness

The Golden Corral cheese fountain has exploded all over Chewbacca and Bob Ross, 10+++

Chewbacca Bob Ross and and army of tribbles flying a bombing mission over a cheese whiz battlefield dropping tribbles into the cheese for battle

So hairy, I want to join the love story of Chewbacca and Bob Ross. Solid 10

Chewbacca and Bob Ross are riding in a barrel over a cheesy Niagara Falls, 10+++

Chewbacca cousin it and Bob Ross in flannel using a chainsaw to cut down cheeze logs into a river of cheeze whiz

Bob Ross and Chewbacca chia pets floating in a Golden Corral cheese fountain, 10+++

Chewbacca, Bob Ross, and Kip Winger in their Santa hats decorating a cheesy Christmas tree, 10

Bob Ross and Chewbacca head banging in their Kohl’s ladies activewear, 10

Chewbacca and Bob Ross are front row center at the Poison show holding each other as they raise their lighters and sway to the song, 10

What a romantic 10. So hairy that Bob Ross painted Chewbacca making sweet sweet love to a cheese wheel

Bob Ross And Chewbacca Fan Fiction From The Haircut Ratings

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